Before & After Writing Transformations

 

Example:1 (Before assistance)

 Black men are among the United States’ most unemployed and underemployed groups (Chung, Baskin, & Case, 1999; Noguera, 2003, 2008).Reaching to the top of any organization is a challenge involving both risk and achievement. Setting such a goal can be daunting for Black men. The upward mobility of Black men demands special attention. Black Barack H. Obama, a man of Black and White heritage advanced to the highest seat of command and control in our country. President Barack Obama, realized his dream on January 20, 2009 as he was sworn in as the first Black President (and Commander-in-Chief) of the United States. Colin Powell became the first Black to serve as Secretary of State in 2001 after serving as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff from 1989 to 1993. Even with these great feats of upward mobility for Black men, still there are a small number of Black men attaining the status of Senior Executive in organizations. CL #1 (2012)

 

(After assistance)

 African Americans are under-represented in the sectors that have experienced the greatest job growth during the recovery, including manufacturing, professional, and business services (Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2011). In 2010, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that 12.4% of the American people are African American. In January 2007, the year the recession began, the unemployment rate for African American workers was 7.9 % compared to 4.2 % for Whites and 5.8 % for Hispanics. By January 2009, the unemployment rates had climbed to 7.1 % for Whites, 12.7 % for African Americans and 10.0 % for Hispanics. By the end of 2010, the unemployment rate for African Americans had risen more than either Whites or Hispanics. In 2011, African Americans comprised 11.6 % of the US workforce and 18 million African Americans were employed or searching for jobs. This report also showed that African Americans were the only ethnic minority for whom women represented a larger share of the employed than men that represented more than half 53.8 % employed African Americans in 2011 (Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2011). CL#1(2013)

 

Example:2 (Before assistance)

Through the emergence of various national organizations which advocate for gay and lesbian families, the myth that gays and lesbians cannot have children is now a distant memory. There are between six and fourteen million children of gays and lesbians in the United States (Patterson, 1992).  The emergence of openly-gay and lesbian individuals has paved the way for research to begin exploring the structure of same-sex families (Patterson, 1992) several studies explore various aspects of same-sex families. CL #2 (2012)

 

(After assistance)

Through the emergence of various organizations such as the Human Rights Campaign, All My Children Project, and the MEGA Family Project that advocates for gay and lesbian families, the perception that homosexuals cannot have children is outdated. Patterson (1992), stated that  the emergence of openly-gay and lesbian parents willing to share their parenting practices and allowing researchers to capture their life experiences have paved the way for research to begin exploring the structure of same-gender parenting. Gates (2013) pointed out that “more than 111,000 same-sex couples are raising an estimated 170,000 biological, step, or adopted children.” CL #2 (2013)